Friday, February 10, 2006

Dear Death...

Look, I was willing to cut you some slack re: the events of Final Destination. Everyone is entitled to slip up once a millenium or so, after all. Perhaps you were distracted while playing chess with someone. (Although if you were, you were probably playing it on an XBox or something.)

When Final Destination 2 came about, though, I frankly thought your work was getting a bit shoddy. However, you're, you know, Death. So I held my tongue. Heaven knows you were working overtime during the 20th century, what with Stalin and Hilter and Mao and Pol Pot and all those guys.

Now, however...Final Destination 3? WTF? I don't know if you've developed some sort of drinking or cocaine problem or something over the last several years, but really, you need to get your act together. Pretty soon people are going to start not dying on a regular basis, and then where will we be? Is that what's happening with Castro? Because I've been waiting for that bastard to kick the can for years now. Get on that, will you?

By the way, I don't see Tony Todd's name in the credits. How is that even possible?! You morons.

8 Comments:

At 7:20 AM, Blogger baby copernicus said...

Looks like Death has a package.

 
At 8:57 AM, Blogger Ken Begg said...

You newlyweds. Everything is sex for you.

 
At 9:08 AM, Blogger baby copernicus said...

I was expecting "I'll say!"

 
At 5:47 PM, Anonymous Tork_110 said...

Why do I now have the image of a FPS version of chess that can only be played online? And why aren't I the one making it?

 
At 2:19 PM, Anonymous Zev said...

Actually, Tony Todd does star as the voice of the fatal roller coaster ride.

 
At 10:41 PM, Blogger BeckoningChasm said...

Tork_110, could you be the one?

Maybe, but are you ours to control?

 
At 9:52 AM, Blogger Chris said...

Death's asleep at the switch. Isn't there any corporate accountability in Hades? Dude should've been fired by now.

 
At 8:58 AM, Blogger Meagen said...

Personally, I like the idea of multiple Deaths (one for each cause of death) all presided over by a Head Death. Like in Irregular Webcomic.

 

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