Thursday, October 06, 2005

It Came from Netflix! Mosquito Man

Well, you can imagine my reaction (on top of the fact that I was watching a movie called “Mosquito Man”) when the first thing I see upon starting the disc was the NuImage logo. At that point, I felt the crushing inevitability of the phrase ‘Mosquito Man sucks’ popping up in the review, which naturally filled me with self-loathing.

Weirdly, though, the film didn’t suck. Huh. I mean, we’re obviously not talking Citizen Kane here, but strangely enough, the film pretty much delivered about as good a fulfillment of its title as one could reasonably expect.

So, anyway, we inauspiciously begin by heavily ripping off Mimic. A mosquito-borne virus is killing zillions of people, and scientist Jennifer Allen is attempting to genetically engineer a mosquito that will for some reason replace the bad mosquitoes…well, it didn’t make such sense. Mimic, frankly, covered this ground a lot more intelligently.

So the eee-vil head of her team, so is only interested in profits (sigh), brings in a death row inmate to covertly conduct human testing upon. Is that ever a good idea? He escapes, and several gunfights ensue, and in a resultant explosion he is caught in a radioactive cloud of genetically altered mosquito guts.

Here the film begins to rip off Cronenberg’s The Fly…wait, I’m not making this sound very good, am I? Despite my earlier assurances. (And I haven’t even mentioned that the hero is played by Corin “Raging Sharks” Nemec yet, although to be fair he’s a lot better here than in that ‘movie.’)

So what makes this a surprisingly decent Man-Mosquito movie, in my opinion? Well, following this point we get a whole hell of a lot of monster action. Since Mansquito (the alternate title, and a much funnier one) is a guy in a suit, it doesn’t cost much extra to feature him a lot. In fact, probably because the suit is pretty nifty, they perhaps feature him a little too much. That may just be my old school preference for mood, however, and modern audience members probably don’t mind the constant monster close-ups.

Anyway, Mansquito kills about a thousand people in this movie, and several in spectacularly gory fashion, so if that’s your bag you’ll definitely dig this. Of course, an old hand like Roger Corman would have thrown in some gratuitous naked boobies, too, but except on that front this is everything a low budget video rental can be expected to deliver.

There are some bits too unbelievable even for a movie like this, though. First of all, Mansquito is bulletproof for some reason (??), probably just because they wanted him to slaughter like three dozen wildly firing cops, as he indeed does late in the picture. Second, and even more goofily, he eventually manifests wings and flies around. Uh, yeah, well, if actual mosquitoes were six feet tall and weighed over two hundred pounds, they wouldn’t fly either.

Still and all, worth a look, despite the dumb parts. Next week, meanwhile, sees the Shark Man movie Hammerhead coming out.

Good times.


At 6:39 AM, Blogger baby copernicus said...

We have no problem with a Mansquito existing, but flying? That's just too much.

At 7:35 AM, Blogger Ken Begg said...

Well, look, if you were watching a vampire movie, and he suddenly starting shooting laser beams out of his eyes, wouldn't that seem weird? Even sci-fi movies have to have some level of internal logic, and a huge man mosquito flying around on these filmy little wings just went way over that line.

At 7:40 AM, Blogger baby copernicus said...

But we expect mosquitoes to fly.

At 9:19 AM, Blogger Governor Breck said...

Ant Man's gal pal The Wasp flew. 'nuff said.

At 10:38 AM, Blogger Ken Begg said...

Yes, but she shrunk down to ant-size and shifted her mass to another dimension (that's the official explanation). In other words, she only weighed as much as an ant when she flew. She can't fly at full size.

Flies can fly, too, but you'll notice that David Cronenberg was far too savvy to have Brudlefly winging himself around.

At 10:50 AM, Blogger baby copernicus said...

Perhaps Mansquito's mass was in another dimension as well.

Did I just type that?!

At 12:14 PM, Blogger Ken Begg said...

No, no. See, when Henry Pym became Ant Man, he shrunk down and shifted his excess mass to another dimension: " Ant-Man's mass is not compressed into reduced stature. Instead it is somehow extended into an extra physical dimension that is opened by the activity of the Pym particles, from which the mass can later be reclaimed."

Conversely, when he was Giant Man, he gained mass in the same fashion: "The growth process required the rapid acquisition of bodily mass, presumably from an extradimensional source. This extradimensional mass fortified all of his cellular tissue, including his bones and muscles, enabling him to support his increased weight, and giving him superhuman strength."

Oddest (cough, cough) is that Pym gained enhanced strength from his extra size and mass as Giant Man, but retained his normal strength as well when Ant Man: "Strangely, because Pym's mass was extended extradimensionally when he was at ant-size, he retained his full human-size strength at that size, although his weight was reduced in proportion to his insect-like size."

In any case, if Mansquito's mass had been shifted into another dimension, then during physical fights with humans it would surely have been evident that he only weighed ten pounds (or whatever).

At 12:37 PM, Blogger baby copernicus said...

Can't argue with that.

Or won't, anyway.

At 12:52 PM, Blogger Ken Begg said...

Face it, Joe...YOU'VE BEEN GEEKED!!

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At 7:19 PM, Anonymous Terrahawk said...

Now that you mention it, "Mimic" did manage to have a plot with genetically enhanced creatures that didn't involve the government or an evil corporation. Maybe that is why it felt fresh.


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